Desert Storm

Desert Storm
Phoenix is right now in the middle of a major weather event. It's been raining for at least two days. The meteorologists on the local news are now purpose-driven and absolutely giddy since they have something to report. The news opened with the forecast, the sky-cam showed headlights, and some grandmother was stuck in her AMC Pacer in a puddle of water. When rescued, all she said was a thank-you to Jesus that she had brought her gun along with her. I'm glad this was the top news story as we already know all about Haiti.


It's understandable that Phoenix gets excited with any kind of precipitation. After all, we get a meager three inches of rain per year. I just don't understand why every time it rains, it's like a hurricane blew in. The airport closes, (don't planes land in rain in other cities?) electricity gets knocked out at the slightest mention of a breeze, and there are auto pile-ups because people are learning how to turn on their windshield wipers.

Because of the rain last night -- and it really was more like a steady drizzle -- there were all sorts of failures at my school this morning: the bells didn't work, no one could print from their computers, the copiers were jamming paper and everyone was wet. (no one owns an umbrella here, it seems)

And it wasn't just happening at school. Later on at the gym, they announced there was a tornado warning. Cory, the 210 lb bodybuilder with a lisp, screamed and tried to duck under the squat machine. Someone had to tell him not to worry since the gym was in a basement. On my way home, my Florida instincts were kicking in. I debated about stopping in Safeway to buy bottled water, batteries and canned sardines, but decided to live dangerously.

To be fair, it is sounding rather windy out there now and the rain hasn't stopped for at least an hour. Having an add-on with a flat roof plus a pool deck that slopes conveniently toward our bedroom doors does give one pause. Flooding is as frequent here as Sheriff Joe on a dollar store sweep.

I just wonder why Phoenix's infrastructure -- electricity, sewer, airport, highways etc -- seems to be so damn sensitive. Why can't city planners study a place where there's like 300 days of rain a year -- like Seattle or Ireland -- and see how they cope with a little wet?

This reminds me; I need to save this right now, as my lights are flickering and that can only mean one thing: 30 Rock will not make it on the DVR tonight.